Passing On

Tis is Tis 

End of 2015

I will continue to evolve I believe by the Grace.  

I know that I will do better, make choices that are not as troublesome.

I've learned a lot for my 61st year.

Tis is Tis

Tis a Lil bit Warm on this Christmas Day 2015

Christmas Day in the Deep Deep South.

It's Humid Today, temps are hovering around 77* at the moment.

Today, I will venture out to the Judge's Home for a lil cocktail before Noon, then its off to Bob and John's,  we will have Red Fish, from the Gulf today.  The Red Fish comes by the way of friends who fish the Gulf on a regular basis.  Bob and John are the new guys, who have moved into the neighborhood, both very dynamic, vibrant, great Spirits.  Then if I feel like it, I will take a bike ride over to the Mayor's house for a cocktail and maybe stay for Supper....

But, and the is always a But, I am not so sure after dinner, there is plenty of Red Fish, that I may just come home about 2pm and hunker down, for peace and quiet.

In the years passed, I would walk down to the Judge's house and have a cocktail and come home, lock the door and be very very quiet and remember my Blessings.

That has changed since B&J have been around.

Have a Great Day, if you are reading this Blog today.  Thanks for stopping in.

The Morning After...... Sup'ing from the Cup

Well, I believe a good time was had by all.  The back porch had a lot of activity last night, the whole house did.  From the count, I believe 67 folks should up.  They polished off 41 bottles of Chardonnay, ChdPape, Syrah, Cabernet, etc etc.... not counting 2.5 cases of beer.

As with all, you begin around five in the afternoon, the last hanger ons left at 12:26am this morning...

They consumed 5 gallons of chicken and sausage gumbo, pounds of hog head's cheese, a pound of Maytag Blue,grapes, Nut Rolls, Crackers for every taste buds,  enough nuts to give the monkeys a year's supply of nuts at the Zoo, and a Sundry of other condiments,  etc etc.

I got in the bed at 1am, rested till about 730am.

We begin the day with coffee and sausage, cause I'll be off to the Mayor's Christmas Brunch at 11:30am with the Boys, then its Eggnog at the Dr. B's house around 6pm... who knows what will happen later.  I am hopefully, I will be snug in my bed before 10pm tonight, waiting on Santa Claus.

No midnight Mass for me.

I've got a few invites for Christmas Day Dinner and Supper (in the Deep Deep South, Dinner is y'all's Lunch)..... Supper is Supper.

Yucky Yucky Weather, But It's Gumbo Time.

Today is my Christmas Party here at the house for invited guests.  I've paired the list down this year, to a nominal 68.  Certainly not all will stop in, but we will see.  There are a few uninvited guests that "stop over" seeing all the folks on the front porch.

I'm worn out by now.  The Gumbo in its self is a task. 10 pounds of Smoked Chicken Breast, 12 pounds of double smoked sausage (sausage is cured with smoke, then I smoke it again on The Egg), and 10 pounds of Mirepoix, the trilogy here in Louisiana.  A gallon of chicken broth, half gallon of beef broth. Sprinkling of Bay Leaves, Cracked Pepper, and the Secret Ingredient.

I made the Gumbo on Sunday, chilled it for two days, took the grease off of it last night.  Had a bowl for supper last night.  Hopefully I will have a lil bit left over to freeze when cold weather gets here.

It's Not Cold now.  It's rainy, balmy, and downright nasty out there, dew on the front porch is thick, and it's not going away, cause it is about to rain again.

Since, the weather is not cooperating, I went ahead and purchased another case of Chardonnay, to add to my already one case I have.  Folks tend to drink Chardonnay with it is hot, Reds when it is cold.

And these invited guests, Drink!!!

So Where is the Cold Weather.... Gee... another Nasty Nasty Day, deep in the heart of Central La.

21st and Counting

Hmmm  Its the 21st


What can I say, I made the chicken/sausage gumbo yesterday.

Letting it sit, in the icebox, until I serve in on the 23rd.

Parties Parties Parties,

My weight shows it.

In the next few days, tradition mandates what is happening.

on the 23rd, its my gathering at the Camp, on the Red Bricks, there's neighborhood folks, political groupies, gossip columnist and a sundry assortment of folks, about 75 in all.

they will consume, based on years passed, 10 gallons of gumbo, bags and bags of crackers, biscuits,  two pounds of hog head's cheese, enough brie to establish a cheese factory, and the ever present Wine....

then its my boss's Christmas eve brunch, his guest list is 200.... grillardes and grits, milk punch,boil shrimp, oyster rockefeller,  and the ever present Wine

then its Dr B's Eggnog Christmas Eve Party.... .. Eggnog, Milk Punch, biscuits and sausage.....and
the ever present Wine.

then comes Christmas Day..... by this time, I am laid out in the living room on the rug in front of the fireplace with a nice warm fire.... bemoaning the fact that I picked up 10 pounds and swearing to take it off... mostly salt and water I am sure.... fastly!!!

Long Ride and Back in the Saddle.

Well.... Well....


I made it back from the drive to San Antonio, 442 miles one way, 7hr 15 minutes over there, 7 hrs 30 minutes back.  Stayed two days, at the Omni Hotel.  I'm getting to know the bartender fairly good, she remembered what I drink, not my name, but what I drink.  Impressive.  We had a discussion on her recall technique.

The drive over and drive back,  always gives me a time to think, to see where I am in Life.

The new MRI test was neat, the radiologist places a probe in the rectum, secure it by inflating a device that grips the prostate, then during the last 10 minutes of the process, (which last about 45 minutes) they shoot some "contrast" in you.  The Tech was certainly very nice, the young radiologist, that performed the test, certainly by all accounts, she was very pleasant.

I went to a teaching hospital, University Hospital in SA.  Saw the Wave and Breath of Humanity walk pass me there.  I was amazed at all the young doctors (female and male) in their starched white lab coats, following old grey headed doctors around, sort of like movie set really.

The radiologist has not sent over the results as of today, I spoke with my Urologist's nurse today, I am told they will call me in a few days.  My PSA has been running about 1.7 to 2.1, its been as low as 1.3.  This just depends on how long it has been before the test when my prostate was massaged or manipulated, LOL.  To get a true sense of the PSA, one must be non invasive for about 8 days or longer.

Just glad to be back and making a fire tonight at the house.

Just Late

Late Late.........

The Good Doctor, who happens to be a close friend, called Late Late on yesterday afternoon.

By all indications, from the Techs and His Head Nurse all was well....

He decided to take a 'late in the afternoon', more thorough review and compare my last echo stress test to the last five years of tests.

Hmmmmmm , He is considering sending me out of town to do a nuclear stress test, one where they shoot some radioactive dye in you and watch it swirl around the heart.

He considering that..... maybe he can review his findings on a late late afternoon again.

I'm off on Monday to do a lil trip over to San Antonio, nice hike, day's drive to get an MRI of the prostate done.  This will be my first, MRI of the prostate, its taking the place of the biopsy which I have had performed 8, let me say again 8 times in the last 12 years. Each time they did a biopsy, the good doctor would stick the old jewel of the gay man, 12 times, 12 samples. I've had 96 sticks, 96 lil holes put in my jewel. There is nothing left but scar tissue, hopefully.   So having the MRI performed is certainly much better and certainly there will be no pain in the ass.

and it will be performed on a late late afternoon on Tuesday.

Stroke of the 48th Minute

Sixty Two Years ago today, I arrived at approx 648am, being delivered to Thomas Williams Thompson Jr and Wilma Ruth Sumrall Thompson, at the Baton Rouge General Hospital, commonly known back then as the Baptist Hospital.

Today, I passed my Echo Cardio Stress test at 748am, at the St. Francis Cabrini Hospital, in our lil City by the Red River.

Sixty Two, let me say it again.  After I passed Fifty Nine and a half, I became the longest surviving first born member in 5 generations of  Men in my Father's Family.  All others, including my Father passed before their Fifty Ninth Birthday.  I guess it says something about the morality rates in our present day or how I have piss poor genes.  My Father would have been One Hundred Twelve this past October 2015.

So, Today, at 1048am, I will walk into my old gym and sign back up.  I have been needing to do a lil more cardio and strength training, maybe a lil bit of toning too, the chest is about as flabby as I have ever seen it..

Along about 448pm, I will make a lil fire in the fire place and sit and remember all the men, I have had in my life, which have passed to the Greater HereAfter.

For to Remember Those who have Passed before ME, is to Count My  Blessings and Appreciate the Life that I have been Given.

Then Who Knows how I will entertain my self for the rest of the day......

Thinking and Rambling

Last night I cooked Supper for a few friends, Joe/Pete, Liz/Donna, Bob, Tommy, and myself.  I cooked a beef burgundy....South La style.

We had a good night, Bob's partner John was not in attendance, he was taking care of business duties down around Baton Rouge.

We all had ate well, drank well, and then went and sat by the fireplace, to enjoy the warmth and glow of the fire.

It was a very nice night, as I looked around the room, our ages appeared to me, Tommy was the youngest at 56, Pete the oldest at 67, the rest of us, fell somewhere in between. All in either thinking about retirement, retired, or contemplating a second part time career.

It was nice to have the over 55 crowd at the house.

On Tuesday, I have a birthday, born on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a Holy Day in the Church, I am hoping it will be a quiet day. Other than my heart stress test at 8am that morning, it should be.

Not much else is going on, Winter is slowly making its self known here.  The local florist came on Saturday to hang my wreaths on the front of the house with red bows.

I tend to be moving a lil slower these days....maybe its time to go back to the gym.

Good Tidings..... Its what you put into Life ..

Today, I had a lil bit of good fortune, I lost my wallet!  I was frantic, two bank cards, AE card, dr lis, my badge!!!, health card, and a small amount of 20 dollar bills was in there.

I had went out to the country to deliver some Christmas Rice and when I returned here to the house, I patted my back left pants pocket for some unknown reason, NO WALLET....

I went into a panic.... gee...

As, I was calling the bank to cancel the cards, I was on the front porch pacing, I looked to and behold, there was the WALLET... sitting on the small table on the front porch.

I grabbed it... the badge, the cards, the dr lis, the 20s, etc was there intact...

But Who, where... not a note not a sign, No Calls, No Nothing.....


I had just went to the bank and loaned a guy some money to help out him, cause he had called and was crying..... The Spirit of Good Will Shined on me.

What if I had told that guy.... sorry I can't lend that small amount of money to you.. and I had lost my wallet....would it had been returned with all things in it.. or returned at all.....

So, whomever returned my wallet, intact... thank you... what Spirit out there was looking upon me..  Thank You too... actually Thank You the Most.

Coming Back and Stayin' Too

You know its Thanksgiving each year by the influx of "returning" gay men and women into the City.

Each TG, the "ones" that left, drift back into our lil City on the Red River.  For the most part they come back to see Momma and Daddy or what's left of their families... Sisters, Brothers, Aunties and Uncles... etc...

I took one to lunch today, Chip, he works in the medical field in Cinnantti Ohio, boy made good as they say down here..  Then there is Kevin, executive vp to some firm in CA, Matt made it good in NM in the social welfare privatization field, and the list goes on and on...

They all left, cause for one reason or the other, family pressure, uncomfortable social atmosphere, bigger brighter futures....

There is some irony in it tho... the "ones" that stayed should be given more credit, enduring family pressure to marry the "right" woman, telling Momma and Daddy..that "No Thank You"... I'm not the marrying kind..!!.. They faced the church crowds, the stares in the restaurants, the gossip at the football games, the questioning by their siblings as "what are you thinking".... etc etc...

And Now... everyone can get married... that's the next social hurdle for us here in our lil City by the Red River... the boys and girls (in true Southern Tradition, Gay Men and Women remain..boys and girls to their families and close relatives).

We need them to marry and Come Back and Stay Too..... some are reaching retirement age...

Come On Back... Boys and Girls.!!!!

Taking Note

Monday Monday

The neighborhood carpenter is coming this morning to put a few shelves in some cabinets and work on my deck. The new wine cellar, a Transtherm, made in France, will arrive today.

Taking note: Brettcajun, listed on my blog rolls has ended his blog.  So, this year, I have had one blogger pass away "the cajun" 'On Transmigration'  and then Brettcajun deciding to end his blog.  Maybe he might return, but I doubt it.  He also, took all his postings down.  I have not run into any other blogs that I would deem interesting, heart felt, and thoughtful to replace or add to the blog roll. And I am not sure what this says about blogging at the moment.... nothing profound reaches into my mind.

I have to say that the Governor Elect first quote is right on track...

"We will be very inclusive and moderate..and govern from the perspective of being Louisianans first"
Governor Elect John Bel Edwards

Cast Ya Vote

Its Election Day in Louisiana....

Edwards, a Democrat, Blue Dog, (no relationship to the previous Gov) Vs  Vitter, Totally Conservative until you get to the Bed (current Republican US Senator).

Its a dog eat dog, nasty till the end, throw crap, Fight.... !!!

But, since everyone has a very very very VERY BAD TASTE that Bobbette Jindal has left in everyone's mouth... I think... ...... Edwards might have a fighting chance.....  He has been endorsed by one of his Republican Opponents, endorsed by the Sheriff's Assoc.... and numerous other groups..

Just have to see if Edwards can turn our lil Red State a shade of semi blue... mixing Blue with Red... gives you Purple.... we can be a Purple State.. the only one in the country...

I'll be casting my Vote for ........... drum roll... John Bel Edwards....

Just.....So....!!!

Today, before I headed to the office, I received a knock on the door, it was the local florist, with a delivery.

"Please, do come in Sir, .... flowers for me..... gee... "

The flowers were from Bill, from Salt Spring Island BC.  Such a nice gesture..Such a Gentleman.  The florist told me that Bob/John received the same arrangement that I received.  Bill stayed with Bob/John during his brief visit.

Manners abound in the gay community doesn't it.... we are very thoughtful folks... to send flowers is such a truly nice thought and gift....

Just a fine Gentleman... Bill ...!

Note to Self

Today was appointment day for the Dr and the Dentist.

Well, all is pretty fair with me except my sugar is slightly elevated, I had too many old fashions on the Sunday before the blood work on Monday. Also,  I have been hitting the bread/pasta, so more veggies etc.  White Count/Red Count was very good, Liver Functions Perfect,  triglycerides  a lil more, where's the fish oil, weigh is holding well..... Pretty fair report.

I go have blood work 4 times a year for the Internist, then 4 times a year my PSA is check for the Urologist in San Antonio, then twice a year I am given a stress test for the A-Fib by the Cardiologist,  and then three times a year for the Dermatologist.  ..so I believe I am very well taken care of with all the blood work, stress test, poking and prodding..... Modern Medicine at your service.

Last night, John/Bob had a friend from Salt Springs, British Columbia down for a visit.  I made seafood gumbo, went into the wine cellar and broke open some ChdP and a few Sonoma County Cabs.  Made a fire in the fireplace, entertained the group and it was a very nice night, no one under 50 was there. The conversations flowed..... so did the wine..... Good Time was had by all.

A note to self:   Have more "Over 50" Suppers......

Very Very

I sit here, looking out my side window onto my new fence between my neighbor and me.  I built the fence to help secure my side yard and offered to have her side gate move up also, it increased her side yard also.

Good Fences make good neighbors.

My other neighbors haven't communicated with me, only to say hello just once.  They are from out of state, transplants, "come heres" as the locals say.  Our block has extended the hand of friendship, but they must be mountain folk, these new neighbors, we (the block/neighborhood) did find out that he teaches at the Baptist College here, Louisiana College.  Its a very very conservative Baptist College.

I hope these new neighbors understand that they are living in one of the gayest parts of this lil city on the Red River.  I think, they,  from their facial expressions, when they do drive out their driveway, are  not very very Happy. We (the block/ neighborhood) tend walk on Saturday afternoons around 5pm, with our cocktails, visiting each other front porches.  We gather on the sidewalks, talk local politics, the condition of our brick streets, and who has seen the neighbors of the previous discussion.  We are in somewhat of an amazement, that  everyone has  knock'd  on their door, welcoming them, but to no avail.  Oh Well...

I hope everyone has a Very Very Good Week

Mournful Thursday....... Justin....Lost in a Haze.

It's Thursday, yesterday, it was a balmy 82..humid, today I woke to a nice 60 temp.  So goes Fall in Louisiana.

I went back on Grindr this week, under a generic photo.  I am amazed at the "parTy" guys on the site.  All hawking their wares and hook-ups.  With a city, without a gay bar, this is the new cyber bar.  It's a sign of our times, drugs have always been around the gay scene. I'm sure most or certainly about everybody has done some type of stimulant to enhance a night of wild abandonment.

It is just a  commentary to what this town has seen, from poppers to ecstasy to a lil coke....now its the poor man's high... Meth... the T in the parTy.  The effects are so awful... this T... Certainly, I am not advocating for poppers nor any drug.  The "out" is not being Out, But, I have seen so many of those tweak'd  out guys, out and up for days, strung out, weirded out..brain is fried guys....

Years ago, Justin, was a blond headed, blue eyed 18 year old came up on my porch, stating his sexuality, he was the dream of so many men... young, handsome, built, full of Vim and Vigor... now... he is in jail, at the age of 35... having had a long road of drug addiction... mainly contributed to Meth and mood altering pharmaceuticals.  His latest foray... note: he was in recovery, meeting at a local Catholic Church. Well....and Then....... he entered the Chapel one night, a couple of nights ago.... before this foray had ended... he had taken the Crucifix from the Alter and stuffed it in the toilet of the Church..among other disgraces.

All... contributed to a local gay T parTy...he had attended... A Mind and Body Ruined..

a sad commentary on a Life Lost for now.

Note:   I cast no stone also, I was a participant also, I just see how the parTy circuit is gaining another breath of air and momentum.  I hope Justin does gather his Self and find a path. Before it totally ruins him.

Sunday Sunday

Sunday, around mid day.  I had the gang over last night, for a beef burgundy stew and greens from Inglewood.

Festive Time was had by all according to the count of empty wine bottles this morning.  I'm a lil tired, but other than that... all was ok.... Cooking and entertaining go hand in hand here on the banks of the Red River, I cooked all day.  Then entertained till about 1030pm last night.... worn out.

It rained here all day yesterday, then a cool front, came through, for most of the country it is a cool front, to here in the deep deep South, its a Cold Front.

Working in the yard this afternoon, tiding up the fire pit area and cleaning up a lil bit.

I had a visitor this morning, Edward, stopped in.  He dropped in on me, catching me up on the events in his life.  He left the State Work, for the private business world about 9 months ago.  I think he realizes that it might have Not been such a good decision. I have known Edward, for 23+ years now, met him when he was going dating a friend of mine.  Watched him graduate college, his transformation from country gay boy to a mature man,  has held many wonderful observations,  over these years. Edward, announced to me, that he was 4 months sober on this trip back home.  Another transformation on  Life's Path.

I'm always proud of the men that are in my circle and Edward is no exception.  He's a lot more intuitive than some.  I am glad he came to the decision that he needed to be sober.  Maturity has sometimes, passed Edward by, but I can say this time it didn't.

The retreat scheduled for this week for the unclassified staff has been canceled.  I am glad, I didn't want to drive across the state.  I was going like a good employee should, with a smile on, but now, I can smile for not going too.


Great Sunday here on the banks of the Red River.

Easin' into November.

Nothing Profound or Even Entertaining.


We have had many many inches of rain here in the last few days, I think about 11inches in some areas of the Parish..


 Not much is happening, other than a few parties, seems that the Season, will be sort of short, nothing over the top, its just a lil' chill time..

I do have to attend a governmental retreat here next week, out of town, its will be held in a small rural community in the SE part of the state, within close proximity of the college I attended.  I haven't been back over that way in many years.  I think I will travel the old roads of time and memory when I do go over there.

Trooping ... Gaggle..... Flock.... just a Group of Good Folks.

Tonight, We Assemble,  at here on the Bricks for a pre party before trooping down to the River Oaks Art Center.

Yes, We will be trooping.

We have reserved, actually purchased two tables, of 10 seats each, We will be,  I am sure,  the center of attention, if not In the Center of the Tables.

It is a foray into polite society, by a group of Out, Known,  Professional, Gay Folks. Administrators, Lawyers, Nurse or two, Retirees, Doctor and a half, and a splattering of various sizes and shapes. Never,  has this town seen, such a gathering of like minded individuals at a premier Social Event.

 As, I was thinking, how did this come to be, I believe it is tethered to ...in thought of, spirit, and body, to our Gay Pride Awareness here in the middle of this State.  We had our second Gay Pride this year.  We have had a very active participation from the  gambit of the gay folks here, this writer included most certainly.  


The theme this year is the "Day of the Dead"  We have folks at our table and the adjoining table "going in face".

So, again, we are quietly making history, here on the banks of the Red, on the brick streets, of this Central Louisiana Town, in the heart of the state.

Trooping... Gaggling... Flocking...

The Trip and a Fishin' Tale

The Trip was by all accounts Good.  Good Traveling Companions, Good Wine, Great Setting, Good Heart to Heart talks and chats.  All in all I will have to rate it a A-.

This is a photo taken from our dock, looking down river.   We didn't catch that many fish, the weather had a cold front that blew in a day before we got there. The new gay couple traveled well, as always there was good conversation, subjects ranged from past life regression to what was the best smoke to have.  We only ate out once, we cooked the rest of the time at the house.  The drive up and back we made good time.  All in All... it was Good... 

The fishing was ok, but when you have a Lesbian with you, The Fish catches the Fish.

This Should Be Interesting

Today, Lisa, My Lesbian Fishing Buddy and I are going to Arkansas on our annual fly fishing trip.  The interesting factor here is that we are bringing with us, the new gay couple in town.  Hmmm.... She has traveled once before with them down to Florida; the report on that trip said they traveled well with the group.

I'm kind of excited to be venturing out with more gay folks in tow.  This couple has never fly fished before, let alone, fished, now they will be in the wilds of the backwoods of Arkansas.



We will be gone till Monday.....!!!!



This Should BE Interesting.........

Friday Friday

On Friday, there is an informal group that gathers, we all work for the Politico.  We gather to "sup from the cup" and eat a meal together, compare notes, and yik yak on various comings and goings inside and outside of the City.

Today, we are "sup'ing from the Can" at a local Catfish House on a Hill across the River.

Its short pants day I think, the weather has turn muggy again.



Its Friday Friday on the Red Bricks of our lil city by the River.

I made the bi annual trip to LaFayette yesterday to see the Electro Cardio Dr. While in  the waiting room, there was about 10 folks, no young folks, we all were way over 55+, three of them were on their cell phones.  Two of the three were playing a games, one was texting.  So, basically 30 percent of those gather, waiting to see the good Doctor, were consumed by the cell phone.  I've been noticing lately, how many people are glued to that device.  When I went out biking the other day, almost everyone I passed on the bike path had a cellular device held in a hand, stuck in an ear, on their arm band, ya ya da.  

Can we not take in the beauty of the Day, listen to the birds, hear the geese, watch in amazement the sun rise or sun set.  Without having some electronic device attached.

Even the homeless downtown, now have cell phones, I wonder who they talk to.

And btw, I was told no more bi annual visits, my progress has been very successful, the weight loss, lower BP, has gained me an annual visit, yep one time a year now.  !!!!

Honking of the Geese.... Fall is Coming I really Hope Its Here.

Today, as I was reading the papers and having coffee, I heard the honking of the Geese... I ran outside in my boxers, but I couldn't see them... the > formation had already passed.

So I thought it was time to begin the preparation of the First Pork Belly of the 2015 Fall Season.  I heard the Geese, but didn't see them...

So, I went down to the local meat market. Picked me a small pork belly out of the freezer and brought it home.  You have to brine them for 3 days and then cold smoke (thats low heat on The Egg) for seven hours.

The recipe is as follows for the Brine:  use a good quality salt (not iodine), I use Pink Himalayan, with a mixture of Norris Cane Syrup(From Monroe, La), Local Honey(From Inglewood Organic Farms) , Coriander seeds crushed, Mustard Seeds crushed, all crushed by hand with mortar and pestle, Bay Leaves, White Pepper/Black Peppercorns(all spices are from Penzey's). Refrigerate for three days, turning every 12 hours, then comes The Egg on Sunday.

The Smoking:  Low Heat (185 to 225) , with Cherry Wood that has been soaked in rainwater for a year, 7 hours on The Egg. It comes out caramelized, juicy and full of flavor.  As you know, Pork Belly is where the Bacon comes from.

So, I missed the sightings of the Geese, I'll be faster next time, but the Fall Season is here..hopefully maybe not in the cooler temps, but Its Fall in Louisiana...I know.

Choice for the Night

As told in yesterday's post, I went to John/Bob's last night for supper.  Their boy friday was there also, J-Man.  J-Man prepared the meal, Grilled Salmon, on a bed of cauliflower rice, topped with sautéed spinach.  Great Paleo Meal.  and and and bottles of wine.  I arrived around 730pm, being a lil bit late, the other guests, all neighborhood folks had already arrived.  They were sipping pure pure chilled martinis..... hmmm

I was determined to wake up refreshed this morning, so I set my limit to wine only.  I brought with me,  a Domaine La Croix Saint Laurent Sancerre, I had just received 6 bottles in.

By the time I left,  at a decent hour, 1015pm, I could tell that the dinner party was about to be in full party  mode.

Now, let me say, neighborhood dinner parties do go on after the desert, mine sometimes do, but I have been trying ever so hard to lead a semi monk's life, not rebel rousing that is attributed to my ways before I slowed down here recently.

The text from John this morning indicated the guests had left around 3am. .....  Glad I took a hiatus on staying out ... semi monk's life was a good choice for the night.

Saturday Rounds

Most Saturdays, there is a routine here on the Red Bricks.  Arise,  hopefully from a quiet night, off to the organic farm south of town about 5 miles, pick up the cream for the coffee for the week, look over the veggie selection, say hello to Stephen the cute farm manager, then back to the house.

After coming back to the house, its coffee with organic cream, no half and half here, French Press, fresh ground by me, etc.

After the first look see of the local paper, then a quick thumb's through of the WSJ, its off to make the other rounds on a Saturday.

First to the local hardware store, been in business since 1931 same family, just four generations later, small talk, city talk, etc etc.  then its off to the local liquor store,  Hokus Pokus, to pick up the essentials for a liberating Saturday and the rest of the coming week... check out the new stock guys there.... not chit chat tho.

Next stop is the local meat market... real meat... corn fed, great meat counter, where everybody knows your name... look over the ribeyes, new york strips, filets, pass the hand cut pork chops, to the boudin, and then last but not lest, the homemade sausage and cracklins in the grease behind the counter.... say hello to DarNell, get checked out by Randy the owner... lil chit chat but mostly all business.

Home to put up the meat, chill the beer, and make another pot of French Press....

Put something on the Sonos. to listen to........ its Saturday Afternoon in the Garden District here on the Red Bricks.

After Mass on Saturdays ... I usually get a call to bring a drink at the stroke of 5, to see  Joe Betty and Dick.... its been a standing invitation on Saturday at 5pm for the last 17 years... neighborhood gossip, politics on a local and regional scene... they just happen to be 78 and 85 respectively.

Tonight its no cooking for me... I am headed down the street to Bob/John's for supper.  They moved here about 18 months ago, we have become friends, around my age, they have been together for 30 years. They say that the Red Bricks is will be the new gay baby boomer town... climate, good hospitals, surrounded by National Forest, hiking, biking, good lakes... they say we have what it takes to be the new destination... for the retired gay baby boomer.

Tonight, they are gathering all of us up, who have entertained them, extended that right hand of Southern Friendship over the last many months... and we will sup from the cup and break a lil bread....

All on Saturday......... Making the rounds

Times a Changing .... a Lil' Bit... Old Ways are Fading... is it for The Better ????

Its Ministers Night down at the local Police Station, its only a few blocks from where I live. They are having supper, supplied by a Sheriff from the neighboring Parish.  You know, Louisiana doesn't have counties, we have Parishes.  Its part of the uniqueness that Louisiana has.  Louisiana Hospitality is even far more than the Southern Hospitality that is known throughout the South.

Somehow, we are loosing that uniqueness in some ways, a lot of Parishes are leaving the Police Jury type government, going to Home Rule Charters.  We are building bridges across the Missisippi River and taking the Ferries away.  A lot of us don't eat Red Beans and Rice on Mondays, doing our washin' day.  You always washed on Monday, clothes that is, and cooked Red Beans and Rice.

The DWI laws are becoming tougher, our local bars are drying up... no customers, everybody is drink in' at the house.  No getting a six pack and riding down the road anymore....to a local cafe for supper...we all are encouraged to have a DD.

The Law of the Land is changing, I know, everything is  suppose to be safer, quieter, better.  Louisiana Folks like a lil hell raising, we like our politicians to be a lil bit on the Loud side, to hedge a lil bit on certain subjects..... just makes it a lil more fun to talk about.

So, tonight, I will stroll down to the street, eat a lil catfish, drink a lil ice tea and chit chat with the Baptist, Catholic, and Pentecostals.... if it was just the Catholics.. we could step to the parking lot and have a cold beer..!!!

Giving Back

I was reading in the WSJ  (Wednesday 9.16.15,  D1), today about a Lady named Luzie Hatch.  Ms. Hatch in her will, endowed a scholarship fund to benefit college students who "without such aid, would not be able to pursue their education".  Ms. Hatch named the fund in honor of her father, not herself.

So, many times, I believe, we don't give back as we should.  We are concerned with our lives, ourselves, close family, etc.  Which is not a bad thing, but sometimes we should just stop, think, and Give Back in some small way to each other.

Ms. Hatch did.

Post Note: Ms. Hatch is the subject of a book written by Charolette Bonelli "Exit Berlin".

Ramblings Again on a Wednesday Night

Ah.... almost 10pm on a Wednesday night in the lil city by the Red River.

I'm slowing down a bit now, its been a very hectic ten or so days for me.  I left last Tuesday to make the trek home to the Mother Land, heart of All Southern Traditions, where time stands really still for the most part.  Nothing has changed but the passing of folks and the sand in the creeks.

I found my sister thriving as she builds her "forever home" on the family place, also, my son is doing the same.

They will have my brother to contend with, all within a scant one mile radius of each other.

While I was there, I rode and drove a combine, (belongs to my brother, one of several big green machines in his fleet), visited the now abandoned home of my Grandmother, actually the home I grew up in.  Walked around the home, dropped a tear or two as the sun set on the tree line to the West.

Dined, at all the "in" places in Baton Rouge.  Stayed at one of the renovated downtown hotels in BR.  I visited with old college friends, we counted the years, gee... it makes me realize how long I have been  up here in the Red River Valley... most of my working adult life now.

And more back to the family........ my brother and I (I'm the oldest of three) has had a contentious relationship off and on. He is the middle child, my sister is the baby. He had the looks of my father, I had the looks of my mother.  He was always the athlete, the valedictorian of his class.  He opted upon graduation from college to go to work for a major oil company, I on the other hand, sort a career path in public administration. All three of us "chaps" as my Momma would call us,  completed college, actually the same state university. My brother, always, to this day, must be the best, have the prettiest wife, the biggest equipment, etc. etc. etc....  but over the last few years our relationship has become less of a sibling rivalry.  He was always the pusher, trying to best the older brother.  I could never best him, actually, I wasn't the athlete, didn't make beaucoup la jean.  I believe, he has come to realize that I will not return to my roots to live, he can enjoy that. No threat of the older brother's return, just now and then an occasional visit.  I would like to someday, renovate my grandmother's home, before they store hay in it, so I could have a weekend home to come to on occasion.  Bring all of my friends!!!

My sister, oh my baby sister, has returned to the family place, after years of wandering the world.  She retired as a Lt. Colonel from the Air Force. Her duty stations, took her to the Pacific Rim and around the world.  She is a very accomplished professional, decorated officer, and my lil sister.  She lives with her two Labs, she has always had dogs.  She is building her "forever home" on the family place, across the road from my brother.  I am sure in her social worker way, she has set the boundaries for brother and her.  Her take on the comings and goings back home has interest for me.  She has offered for me to build a "camp" in the back of her section of the home place, to come on weekends and bring my friends.  It was a nice gesture, but I declined, there is something about family togetherness that I haven't experienced in such a long time, not sure if I am up for all of that.

I have lead a very independent life here on the banks of the Red River. In counting years, its sometimes has been 2 or 3 before I would make the trek, back there.  Oh, I maintain contact through telephone, telegraph, and the tacky birthday card.  But making a regular trip there,  on a regular basis, naw...I haven't. Which, I think is a Good Thing.

However, all in all, I enjoyed my lil trek back to the land of my birth, back to where time stands still, back to old friends, son, sister, brother, and assorted other family members.  The most memorable time was  watching the sun set on the tree line, behind my Grandmother's home, that home, raised my father, saw him married my Momma, and begin his family...... Us Three Chaps.

Home is where the Heart Is

I made it home... to the Red Bricks of my lil street.

I am glad to be back......

I had a very pleasant visit with all the kin folks.....

As I begin to think about the journey back across the two rivers, to the land of my birth, I will write more.

The distance back home is nominal, but the separation is as wide as an ocean.

Tomorrow Tomorrow You're always a Day Away (Annie Lyrics)

Tomorrow .....Tomorrow

Yep, tomorrow, I will make the trek back to my ancestral home, place of my birth, youth, and early early adulthood. Down memory lane.

I am returning for several reasons:

To see my sister and brother  (they both live on the family home place)
To see my children, well at least one, I have two
To see old straight friends, I don't have many left, most abandoned me when I came out...34 years ago
To see if I have any connectivity left in my soul for the Felicianas, the ancestral place  of my birth
To see if I can walk the streets of Jackson, La and if I run into anyone and/or they recognize me.......


On the last three, "To See", ... Life in rural Louisiana, especially the Felicianas, one must have friends or you become a hermit on a remote farm place in the backwoods.  I'm somewhat of a social animal here in this town.  One of my upmost concerns is whether I can foster up a social life there in the Felicianas.


I will be staying in Baton Rouge, I choose to stay there and make the trek up to the Felicianas, its better to stay a lil bit away from the fray and the drinks at the hotel bar are strong.

During my stay in Baton Rouge, I will also be attempting to see one or two of my oldest gay friends, they were mentors to me when I came out. Both are in their 80s now.  True Southern Gentlemen. I hope to have lunch with them on Thursday.

So, I haven't made a run like this in years, there is something telling me that I need to make an effort to reconnect, see if any ties are still there, and the acceptance of others than my gay friends and family.

Risks and Brakes

In the past several months, I have let myself, take some risks.  I'm not sure where this action comes from.  I'm sorting it out right now in my mind.

I can tell you this:

I need to keep my mouth shut, when I do take risks. By telling my confidantes, they seem to every once in a while throw it back to me.

I have let myself, knowingly, take these risks, knowing that I was hedging the "line", pushing it to the limit, but somehow, I was willing to let myself go there.

Was it the age, 61, was it the temptation of the unknown, was it the quest for a fling into the dark night, I can not answer it right now.

I do know, that for whatever reason, those risks were a lil too much.  Let me say that one more time...a Lil Too Much, even for my liking.

In the past 12 months, there has been a passing of John (the former lover), Larry (friend and mentor) Ronnie (friend, mentor, and boss), Bob (long time huntin' and drinkin' buddy), Jim (friend), and Danny(first man I had sex with).

Six souls, all had some impact on my life to a degree or greater.. more greater impact with each one, that I care to get into at this time.  Was it my own morality that I was seeing.  So, was I mourning their loss, was I trying to escape the reality, I really don't think I was escaping.

The quest to find what is happening is on-going.

I do know this.... I have put the brakes on!!!!!

Hot Hot Hot

Its Sunday Morning....  its hot.... that's all I can say... on to other matters.

I was reading one of my "reads" this morning, the blogger was speaking of family compassion, in particular his father's compassion toward his dying wife, the blogger's mother.

It reminded me of the passing of my Momma, in 2001, she was 80.  Momma drove herself to the hospital to have a procedure, but  never left, she passed 27 days later.  During that time, before she went on a vent, we had some candid, frank conversations about her self and my gayness.

She told me that she knew I was gay, in her own way, she said, "Tommy, I have always known you had lace on your drawers".

That is one of the reasons, I read these blogs that I do, it makes you think of your self and your past.  It brings back memories.  Its reflective, to read and then think of your own stories. It seems that we mirror each other's  experiences at times,  but in different ways, that the actual event, which was described.

On to another topic, I was invited out to a pool gathering last night, this time straight folks where invited too.  The dynamics changed a tiny bit but all in all, the A' Naturale" Pool gathering was another nice night on a very hot day.  The straight couple were a dr and his gf.  Interesting to watch them in pool with a gaggle of naked gay men...they were very comfortable in their nakedness also....

Its Sunday Morning... and its Hot !!!!

Taking the Plunge

I'm Taking the plunge on buying a new vehicle today.  I have always been a 4x4 kind of guy, never had a 2 wheel drive vehicle really... except for my BMW Z4 and 550i.  The rest of the fleet has been Ford 4 wheel drives.  My current garage has 2.  Both are F150s, one is a Raptor, the other is a King Ranch.  

I let both of them go today.... sold them.  purchased a 2015 F150, Platinum Edition, Full glass power roof, parking assist, etc etc etc etc...... but I did have to maintain the 4x4 package tho.  

.

I haven't been a one car household in over 20 years, I have always had two or more vehicles.  Well, I guess it is just old age, or the reduction in needs.  I don't actively participate in 4 wheeling any more, no mud hogging no mo'.  No hunting in the deep deep backwoods of Louisiana No Mo'.   So, more of the gentleman fishing with the fly rods, driving up to the pond, not down the logging trail to the pond.  

The new baby on the block is Pearl White, fully loaded.... let me say again..fully loaded.... as described above.. and with a 4 wheel drive package... I couldn't give that up....in case it snows here in Louisiana this winter.

Also, the deal was sweetened when the dealership wrote me a check.. not me writing them one.. LOL...

Taking the plunge was fairly pleasant this time around... 

Its Sunday Morning

Sunday Morning....at 11am  its 86 already... expected temp at 3pm today is 99....heat index above 108 (i think)

Heat Hot... Sunday Morning.

This year it seems that everybody from up here, in the lil town, on the banks of the Red River is getting married in New Orleans.. 3 weddings already.... the last one was this past Friday. at the Cathedral on Jackson Square. I had an invitation to go...but didn't.. its too hot too hot..  I will make my apologies later.

Please wait till the Fall to visit the hometown of my aunts and uncles.. They lived on St Roch (Rock) in the 40s thru the 70s.  Then they all just passed away.. lost my connection down there.

I think the heat is making it a rambling post this morning...  but it is Sunday Morning

Long Time Many Thoughts Short Words

Hmmm It's been two weeks since I have written, posted a note.

I've had a few more life experiences or I would rather say a few more reoccurrences in life.  

Life Lessons Learned Again... for the good of it.

What has been made,  critically aware to me,  is that for the most part I have a very good reputation here in my town.  I need to make sure that stays in tack.  

I have learned that some friends are not really friends... they are random souls that just wander in and out... and its best to keep them out on the sidewalk and don't let them in the house.  Lesson Learned.

I thought, .... As I man of my very early sixth decade, that I could with some respect, venture again into the late 20, early 30, 40ish year old gay world and find bonding, sincerity,  and a common ground.  This world is not for the men of my generation.... we can't go back!!!!

I have made myself acutely aware of the gar holes, mud puddles, piles of cow paddies one can step in.

At lest, I recognized these holes before I made a bad step.  Also, I am very glad that the gay cyber world forgets after 48 hours who you are and where you came from... their world is so fast pace, so non emotional, no connectivity...... nothing but sex lies and video tapes.. or rather screen shots from the iPhone.  

I am having to come to terms with my age, position in life, and where I want to be.  ... sometimes we quest for the youth of long ago to realize we could .. maybe... enjoy the satisfaction but in a more subdued context.

However, we can Not Venture there... we should understand that and accept it.... I have for the last time.

On that note.... Many Thoughts... Short Words...... see you soon.

This is a two part entry.

First Part:


I have been off the gay social media sites for two weeks now.  Its tempting to get back on and register again, but I have not.  The sites are still on my phone and I can see who is on the sites, but not pull up their profiles.  There are several guys I would like to chat with, but (and there is always a but), I will not at this time let myself be placed back in the dishwater of the small minded, queens that inhabit that shadowy space... it's A-Shame that there is no other outlet other than social media here.

I got up early this morning and went out to the organic farm south of town, as I usually do on Saturday mornings, to buy fresh cream and veggies.  There is something nice about rising early, on a Saturday morning, getting errands run, then settling back with the heat of the day fastly approaching.

Second Part:

I made my bi annual trek to San Antonio on Monday, returned yesterday after my appt. with the good Doctor.  I drove over, took us right at 8 hours. The route I took was through the hill country of Texas, the "back way"  This time, I took Bradly with me, he's a best buddy, known him for 20 plus years.  We stayed at the Omni on the RiverWalk, dined at Bella on the River on Monday night, then on Tuesday stopped at HEB, then the good Doctor, then it was a fast fast trip home, Bradly drove, taking us on I-10 then up to I-59 then the back roads,  410 miles, 6 hours 48 minutes.. ... those 75 mph roads in Texas makes the trip fast.

So, I am a lil bit worn out, after two days of riding, poking by the doctor, all in all it was a good visit, and for the first time, I took someone with me.  I have been going to this Doctor for almost 6 years now, this September will be six.

I am glad to be back on ole Alex.

My next door neighbor is moving closer home, he's a professor at a small college here, received his Phd three years ago, came here to teach.  Younger guy, straight, conservative, quiet.  I will miss his lawn mower and him to a point.  The neighborhood is curious who he sold his home too.  We have all questioned him, but he has that middle America tight lip.  He's from Missouri and will be teaching in Iowa.

So, new neighbors, here shortly. the neighborhood hopes it's the young couple we all meet three weeks ago... but we'll have to see..... !!!

Tune Up

Well, my bike is in the shop.  Its a Specialzed Cambre 29, which has been modified from a mountain bike to an urban trekker. The reason being, is that when I had my biking accident, in the Fall of 2013. I was told not to ride the trails out in the National Forest anymore.  So, I decided to ride the urban concrete and asphalt trails here in the City.  A lil safer than running into a Red Oak tree, 15 miles from no where.

To modify the Cambre, I put New York Slicks on it, which is a sort of rubber tire that hugs the concrete and asphalt.  Also, I had the handlebars raised to a more upright position, so I wouldn't be leaning over.

Anyway, the brakes began to stick here on Monday when I was out riding, then yesterdary when I rode to the office downtown, they started to stick again.  So, I loaded the bike up, took it to the ole Bike Shop, and Gaylen, the mechanic, is bleeding the hydraulic brake lines and adjusting the pads.

I usually keep the Cambre inside, but I left it out during one of the downpours a few weeks back.  I am sure some moisture got in the brake lines etc.......

It needed a tune up any way...  Speaking of tune ups... I am heading to SA next week for my bi annual check up...making that 440 mile road trip to see what is happening with me...a lil tune up.

Its Monday Monday.... all is pretty good here on the Banks of the Red.  I biked this weekend.  For the most part of my life, the bicycle has been with me.  I enjoy that activity.  seeing what is out there, short trips around the city, from 6 to 15 miles is good to work up a sweat.  I have a modified Specialized Mountain Bike, dual suspenion, that I had rescoped into a semi road bike.  I put New York Slicks on it.

So, yesterday, I was out biking down by the river, its still on the rise, having went down only a lil bit, but now coming back up.   Here's what the Red looked like yesterday.... it was churning.

The Mind Wanders

Sometimes, I believe, I think too much.

Sometimes, I believe, I let my mind wander around the spheres too much.


Ever, think about that. ...  and  2015, we are half way through this year already.

Hurricane season is just about to get into full swing in about 45 days...the Gulf will be warming up.

On the other hand, the public sector of government here in the deep deep South, will enter the doldrums of summer this week.  This period will last until about the mid point of September, only to be interrupt by the beginning of dove season...... basiclly no important decisions of any magnitude will happen.

The passings of John and Jim, still are fresh on my mind. Their memories are clear and somewhat haunting me for some reason.

In two weeks I will be in San Antonio to for my bi annual check up for my prostate cancer. Once you have that cancer gene, even tho it is supposely gone, the memory lingers.

I have dropped about 27 pounds, a marked improvement in my weight  control.  I can't imagined that I let my Self get up there that much.  Certainly, the weight loss is good.  I dont eat as much and I consume wine even less, now my cellar is well stocked these days. I would like to drop another 7 to 10 pounds, but I'm not sure that will happen, anytime soon.

Summer is progressing here.  All of my family showed it's support of the SCOTUS decision, by placing the colors of Love and Equality over their faces on Facebook. That took some courage, as they live and work in the most rural, conservative part of Louisiana..... (the most backward region of the state).  I am proud of their stance. It just took A Lot of GUTS for them to do that.  I read people's comments to them... I have to think their friends aren't really their friends, but each to his own thoughts.

I left the gym I was at to return to the original gym that I started at years ago.

Bringing it Back Home

Rural Louisiana is a wonderful, sometimes strange place.  On Friday, I gased up the four wheel drive and headed out early in the morning to Sugartown, La.  Sugartown is in the northeast quadrant of Beauregard Parish, it sits right below Pitkin, La (which happens to be in the southwest quadrant of Vernon Parish).

There at the crossroads of La Hwy 112 and La Hwy 113, sits Jack's Sugartown Trading Company.  its happens to be one of two going concerns at the busy corner.  The other business concern is that of a rival watermelon stand arcoss the road.  I visited Jack, who is a come home transplant from Palm Springs.  He spent his youth in Sugartown.   Through events in his life, he made a return to his ancestral roots to open his business.  I meet Jack on a social media site sometime ago.  We have chatted back and forth, so I decided to put a face with the photo I received.

When I arrived, Jack was busy selling the famous Sugartown Watermelons, noted in western Louisiana to be the finest, sweetest, melons around.  My breif visit, about an hour, Jack sold about 20 melons.  It was a busy morning according to Jack.

Its not often I do things on a whim.  But, on Friday, I went over to Sugartown on a whim, meet Jack, and brought a couple of watermelons.

As we sat on the porch, with the fans going, humidity at 92%, sweat dripping, ice tea at hand, it seemed surreal to me, this man, with the finer taste of a urban gentleman, finding himself at life's crossroad, returning to his native Louisiana, after being gone 28 years.... just was a lil bit out of kelter.

I have seen this so many times before, men who come back, come home to Louisiana, after being gone for so many years, putting thierselves back together...

Sugartown is a good place to put your self back together.........

Connections

Connections..... its a lot to do with connections isn't it.  We, don't realize, but we in Louisiana, are a "connectional type folks".  When we find that connection with someone, we truly embrace that bond.

I had a connection with Jake, ours was just a brief moment in time.

It's been some time now since, I have seen Jake...but the connection that we had was a magicial brief spot in time.... just a spot in time... a brief four weekends..... it was a spirited, romp into how two men could look at each other and finish the sentence... whether on a walk in the neighborhood or lookin' at each other in the bed on a foggy Louisiana morning... quiet time on the porch.

Jake vanished.... into that forest that he came from.... those piney woods... it was my pleasure when he walked out into the pasture...from those woods.. I am glad I was there..

A brief Spot in a short brust of The Moment..... a true connection.

Late Entry........

I thought I would try a late evening entry. ... I haven't written one of these lately.. so late might be good.

I have written several times on my career and the outcome of decisions made during it.  I find that public service has been a true reward for me, in the work life.  This year, I celebrated, 41 years of continuous public service. Beginning with my first college job, as pool hall manager at Lee Hall on the campus of SLU (slow learners university). .. it made me a fast learner of people for sure.  At 20, some where in the early years of the 70s', I dealt with returning Vietnam Vets, who had come from Mekong River battles, some doing two or three tours, some fought in Laos, Cambodia,... but they all were ready to Not Take Any Crap, from a snot nose pool hall manager, who was instructed to keep the peace.

During the  first years of "my public service" I learned first hand, the sound of a calm, strong, voice....not threatening... just calm, strong, and with kindness in your heart...saying to a Vietnam Vet... "buddy... hey... you've broken one cue over the guy's head... isn't that enough...!!!" most would say...."yer..sorry..but he had it coming...." Then give me the broken cue, as I picked up the other guy.

You just didn't mess with those guys...you could see the terror, the far stare in their eyes, the I don't want to go there look.. good guys...but they didn't take any crap from anyone.. not jocks, not frat boys, not dorm proctors, not even the Dean of Men...they were the Men...and they had come home to just restart their lives... quietly...for the most part.

Thus I began my public service to our state, serving the Vets of Vietnam..pickin' up the broken pool cue on a late Friday night in the pool hall of Ole Lee Hall...

Saturday Morning... Special..!

Saturday Mornings are some what special to me, especially........
if you wake up feeling good,
having coffee,
reading the paper,
going out to the organic farm early to get your weekly supply of veggies,
making the rounds in the city,

Its just special... and to top that... its raining a lil bit .... !!!!

Special... Special....!

Keep on Posting

I tend to review my postings from time to time, my intentions are to proof read them before I post them.  But, as always, I find grammar errors misspellings, etc., after each posting and I have to go back.. I had Mr. Bass for college English... I think I passed 101 and 102 with a "C".

Well, I will just keep writing and correcting as I go along.. forgive me for my transgressions.  I am certainly not Lyle Saxon or Faulkner

Tuesday and I will gladly pay you on Tuesday. Ramblings on a Tuesday Morning.

Popeye the Sailor Man.... had a character named Wimpy,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Wellington_Wimpy  He always said he would gladly pay on Tuesday for a hamburger today.

I am always reminded of that, a lot of folks, especially my brethern, want something now, and will pay later....

On another subject

I have three simple rules, every time I break one of those simple rules, I pay...  sometimes the cost is very nominal, sometimes.. it's a lil costly. I have written about these before... I have broken them before....I have paid the penalty several times.

My three rules are:

Have a vechile..... cause you need to be mobile
Have a job...... cause you need your own money
Have a key to where u rest your head at night............. cause you need to have a place to rest that is your own or is yours in some form or fashion.


These rules are not written in order... but every time I don't adhere to them.... I receive confirmation that I need to stick to them.... steadfastly .... and Never break them again.....

I broke them over the weekend... I paid for the error.... I need to remind myself time and time again... stick to the Three Rules.

I will gladly pay you on Tuesday... yer right!!!!

Passings:

In the last five or so days, I have experienced the passing of two friends, they didn't know each other, they were miles and miles apart, however, they both impacted my life either many years ago or just recently.

John, was my first lover.  We meet in 1987, at a  bar in Baton Rouge.  We began living with each other a lil while after our dating for several months.  We lived in a great downtown neighborhood, had wonderful diverse friends, had at the time, what I deemed a truly urban life.  I was a one-third into my career, John was completing his landscape architecture degree at our flagship university. His was a five year degree program.  I would bike to work, he would bike to school, we would bike to the grocery store on Saturday mornings.

Time rolled on, his career begin to take off, in a very short time, his talents were in demand by some leading landscape design firms.  My career was about to take a turn to.  In 1991, I was offered a very nice career path, in the same state agency that I retired in.  I accepted.  It brought me to the Red River Valley.  John on the other hand stayed in Baton Rouge, we tried, tried to hold it together. Our plan was for me to come to this RRV and stay about 24 to 36 months, transferred back to the Baton Rouge Area. We knew, I think, that this was not going to work, but we knew We had to try.  WE did.  Then we made the decision to break up, go our own separate ways.

In the insuing years, John and I maintained a loose connection.  He went on to have multiple lovers, relationships, etc.  I sort of stalled on in a state of suspension, on that part. I dated but never found another connection as real, forthright as John.

Recently, John returned to La.  He returned to his family and friends around Baton Rouge.  In March of this year, John called me, he was in one of his manic depress moods, he was rambling in his talk with me, but in the end, he wanted an apology from me, asking me to apologize to him for what he thought was "wrongs" I had committed over the years to him.  I knew that he was in one of his "state of mind", he had battle mental issues long before.  I gave him that apology that he wanted.  I am glad I did. He never contacted me again.

John had always had "concerns" that hinged on a usage.  He fought it over the years, won the battles, succeeded in accomplishing many things. However, he had one final battle on June 3rd, at 53 years of age. The use won, John passed to the Greater Here After.

Somewhere in this universe, there is a marvelous, brillant, landscape architect, floating among the clouds.

Bill and I had meet in 1995, when he moved from Colorado, to be with closer to his family here in La.  Bill came with six cotton topped, bean pole, children, in a stair step configuration. His wife had departed under growing financial concerns, in Denver.  He knew that he could find support for him and his kids here among family and friends.

Bill  had a very interesting life's path.  Conversative by nature and rearing, he graduated from Bob Jones University.  This conservative rearing and nature would prove to be a true inner conflict for Bill  the rest of his days.  In the end, I believe he finally found peace with this issue in his life.

From the time we meet, till the time we parted ways over my broading of my life's paths, we had a connection that was like brothers.  We parted ways over the fact that I believed in my heart that one should be as open and honest with one's self, as one can be in the rural, sometimes cultrually backward, area in which we lived.  Bill on the other had, had a different belief, he was a "don't tell, don't ask" sort of life.  As I became more open, out front, he felt that our association with bring him to be labeled.

In  the passing years, Bill and I would run into each other, immediatly he would shy away and leave the room.  I had became known as an out gay man in those years. Then in February of this year, a friend of mine, stopped by the house, he had thought that I should know, that Bill had taken on a live in partner and was opening himself up to exploration and life's changing events.

The friend also, told me that I should make contact with Bill, put past feelings aside, and re-develop our friendship with each other.  I beleive that my friend had been working on Bill too.

On Feb 3rd, I dialed Bill's number and reconnected with him.  It was as two brothers talking, the span of time, was never the issue, the parting was never mentioned... we reconnected....!!!

Then on June 5th, in the wee hours of the morning,  Bill raised up in bed, took his last breath, fell back and was dead. His partner of two years, was there with him.  He was 55.

The Passings of these two men, leaves me with so many questions, my connection to each, our paths of life,  our trials and tribulations, our friendships.

Ya Know!!!!

Well again, I have tripped "the light fanistic" and came out fairly well.  The latest foray into the world of sex, lies, and video tapes (btw, the movie, some scenes where filmed in Louisiana, my ex at one time own the white ford fairlane rag top in the movie) I have came through again.

It seems that I am challenging myself in ways that is certainly not the norm for me.  Some would deem it vary risky, some would say down right shameful, some would say naw that it's nothing.

The Story continues through this weekend.

I'll let you know.

Up and Moving

Moving On.... down the road.

Yesterday, I began the journey of doing maintenance on my old body, my dentist has shook his finger at me for years.  I brush, I floss, but I was not blessed with some of my family members'  good teeth.

So, yesterday, I had placed in my jawbone, a dental implant, so my dentist could screw a tooth onto the post.  The actual implant surgery was performed by a oral sugereon, it seems he did a fairly nice job.  No pain or swelling right now.  I'm on antibotics for seven days.

I am to have two more of these implants placed into my jawbone over the next 12 months.  Other than the cost... ouch!!! its a fairly painless procedure... O they did knock me out.  The oral surgeon told me he has five implants.  Up and moving !!!

No Nuts.

For Years and Years, I kept my photograph on this blog.  I was proud to call myself a person that was open, gracious, and not closed to the smut mongers, nay sayers, down right terrible, nasty, small minded folks.

In the recent days, my openness about what I do, what I say, and along with my smiling lil face photograph has been just stomped, kicked, pulled thru the briar patch.

So, for the sake of me continuing to be me, I will not longer have a photo.

Even writing this explanation, seems a lil scary for me.  To put it out there, its is almost saying that I don't trust.

However, this is preservation of one's self.

I might even take this  post down after my daily and weekly readers get to see it.

So Ashamed Ashamed  after so many years, I succumb and have no nuts.... but... i want to live quietly and write about my life, my feelings, my thoughts........ yep yep.

Why?

Monday Monday....

This past weekend I had a visitor from one of the big military base here in area.  He was an old soul in a young body.  Nice Guy, we had meet by the way of a mutual friend.  We spent the most of the weekend together, hangin' at the house.  I got to know him far better this past weekend, then from the encounters that I had with him, in the friendship circle that I met him in.

You never really know a person, until you sit on a back porch in the wee hours of the morning, listening to his story of growing up and his life experiences, even tho at this point, it  is a short life at the moment. Of how his military experience, his combat experience, here on land one day and the next day, hot blowing sand is embedding in your nostril.

The two tours of Afghanistan  and Iraq most certainly, vividly, shaped this man I was sitting here listening to.  My mind drifted out to the fact there are thousands of men and women, young men and women, that we have placed in harms way, we as a Nation, by our actions, have shaped them

He recounted the fears of battle, the uncertainty of the "next day", the unrealness of using video cam to chat with friends back in the states as an IED was blowing up a mile or so away.

It reminded me again, that we, as a Nation, bear the responsibility, for helping all of these soldiers, have their lives returned, to a static normal.

I just don't think that we as a Nation, truly understand, what we have done, to a generation of men and women..... and you have to really ask ............Why?

Bloggin'

You know, I have to say I really enjoy reading the activities, thoughts, desires, old times, and current events that happen in the life of the bloggers that I have chosen to highlight on my blog.

It's just a real connectivity,  that is there for me.  I have personally seen two of them, had drinks with them, etc.

But the point of this entry is just to say "Thank You" for the continued posting to each blog.  As I look back on my blog, I see the periods in my life that curved, swirled, stayed in the mud puddle, then the  green pastures.... its is with all that share their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

To be a blogger, to open your self up to the world, is an amazing thing.

I just appreciate my bloggin' buddies.

Getting With It or Recognizing When To !!

Years Ago..... I had blossomed up to a weigh of nearly 287 pounds in 1988.. .. i was a big boy, even at 6'1" barrel chested... i was a big boy and i did  at that time have a shock of hair..

Then in the early 1990's came biking and the gym... i went down the scale to 232 pounds.. 38 inch waist, 52 in chest, 14 in drop in my tailor coats and suits... i looked very striking..  ......!!

Then I retired. and went to work as the govt advisor - consultant... with the late night eating at events, late supper meetings, whisky, wine... and coffee and desert ..... it was not pretty.... I became a Big Boy again.. my weight skyrocketed up the scale to 285.9... i jumped off the scales real fast..that was Feb 3rd.

Today, on May 20th... my FitBit scale recorded me at 263.6... !!

I know I will not get to 232... too much under chin skin now... LOL.... but I will feel real good somewhere between 252 and 257. I think I can manage that.

On a footnote, I heard by the way of FB today that one of my old employees, a person that I mentored passed away today.. Everyone is kicking the bucket... another reason... to get even more healthy.

Just Happened to be Talkin'

During the week, when I get up, there are the dog owners in the neighborhood walking their dogs, one in particular is my dear friend L.

Let me digress here for a lil history:   L is a lesbian, she lives with her partner of 30 years about two blocks from me. My neighborhood is heavily sprinkled with "our folks".  We All are  entering retirement age, or have had various ventures into ...have retired, retired and went back to work part/full time.

L comes by, after she goes to the local coffee shop,  right around the corner from my house. There she chats up the local republican business folks, chats the patrons about this and the thats.

We were talking this morning about our stage in life that we find our self in at the present time. To somewhat of my surprise, she told me she was in therapy, to handle a few issues that has come about with her Life's Path.  I expressed my concern for myself and the intermittent Haze that I find my self in these days.  This Haze tends to come and go, depending on my mood and work for the week.  I bounce from not wanting to work to, telling my self I need to work so I won't have to sit home.  I could do volunteer work, but at 61, I don't want to retire fully.

L said she decided to seek a lil therapy cause of some of the indecisiveness that she has experienced since her retirement.  We both retired in 2008, from the great state of La.  I consulted for about 6 months, didn't like jumping on airplanes and traveling 3 weeks out of a month, to distant states.  L began walking her dogs, doing mosaics, painting and the such.   I eventually went to work for the local city govt on the Mayor's Staff as a governmental consultant/advisor.  I've been there ever since.  I work from 20 to 29 hours a week, for that I am rewarded very good.

L's comment "about we all take real good care of ourselves, medically, but we fail sometimes to take care of ourselves mentally"..... it has resonated with me all day..


Maybe I need to be Talkin'......... to someone.!!

Thoughts

Re-accessing my thoughts these days.  Sometimes that is good, sometimes not so good.

One Group

In the last several weeks, my friendship circle has grown to include a group of  guys like myself who are gay.  Their group goes even further,  than just the fact that as I believe we are born gay, they have a medical concern, which is HIV.  Its a very close group of friends. This group is lead by a professional man, mid 50s.


The bond, friendship, and closeness that they share amongst each other and in someways a lil bit of self destructive behavior really has touch me over the last several weeks. I haven't found that in a long time, that heart felt sincereness.

They have included me in their circle from the outer parameter so to speak.

I found it refreshing that the bond, they share has been a remarkable growth experience for me.

They do have a wild side, one of determined exploration. They do practice  mostly safe sex from my point of view.   But the only true safe way is to abstain.

We had a very lively discussion about the current state of the health care system and the tribulations that they sometimes go through

Heading into the 21st Century.... Music Wise.

About fifteen years ago, I had one of the hometown audio stores install Polk Audio speakers all through my house, in the ceilings. I have updated the speakers by installing much better ones over the years.   Also I placed Klipsh speakers on the front/back porches.  I've enjoyed my 400+ cd collection for a very long time. Music for dinner parties, sitting on the porch late at night, for background music, for turning up the volume on a late Saturday afternoon in the Garden District..rockin it out.

Here, then a few months ago I was at a friend's house, he had put in a Sonos system into his home sound system.  His system was similar to mine, with speakers all thru the home, driven by a big amp etc.

He keep telling me that this Sonos,  was the way to  GO ....  "streaming music".

Then, again, another friend purchased a Sonos system for his home, but used the Sonos speakers.

So, I stepped off into the "streaming music" area by having my home's  audio system updated to accommodate a Sonos system, into my speaker system.

Wow.... I think I have bridged the 70's  to 90's to the 21st Century.... !!!!  Streaming!!!!

Some Where

Well the best laid plans sometimes go afar....

There is a temporary postponement of my patio project... The bricklayer cannot find "Rapides" brick to complete the project.  Rapides is a certain type of brick, made up until about 1950 here in Rapides Parish.  All of my sidewalks, current brick patio were constructed with Rapides Brick.  So, somewhere, somewhere, I am sure there are a few piles left, covered with briars, spiders, and the occasional snake... some where in this Parish......

Some Where.......!!

Just got to Find Those Rapides Brick.

A Lil Renovation

A few weeks ago, I made the decision to tear up the deck and replace it with a brick patio.  The deck has served the house well.  However, it is a raised deck, about 2.5 feet off the ground, it breeds mosquitoes. The Magnolia Tree (Magnolia Grandiflora) sheds it's leaves every year about this time, right before it blooms. Those leaves do not compost very well. The wind blows them through the gaps of the deck boards.  Also, my yard drainage is under the deck is now stopped up. With all the rain, I have wet Magnolia Leaves, mosquitoes..... and more mosquitoes.  ..... you know they say its the state insect of Louisiana.  It also is the carrier for West Nile.!!!  Our Blue Jay population was decimated by the West Nile Virus several years ago.  I don't want to be decimated either.!!!

So, the deck is coming up. It will be an all summer project for sure.  Photos to follow later as the work begins.

A lil summer renovation project.

Those were the Days

This is not a pity party post. ...However..... In the last few days, I have experienced the nasty side of gay life. Nasty in the sense that We, Gay Men, as a minority group, treat each other with an irreverence, a sarcastic tone, hurtful innuendo, and just down out right lies about each other. This has come about in the Online World of Gay Chat, Gay Online Dating... no personal interface.

I deleted for the umpteenth time, the app Grindr, I have made a promise to myself never to go back to that app. Never to subject my self to humiliation, disscontempt, and such a nastiness that only gay men can do to each other.

I had thought that the younger sect of gay men had grown up a lil bit more to be righteous, stand up for a cause, search for the humanity in All, etc...communicating with them in their space/universe of online chat, dating.

Needless to say that this is not the case.... I think the online world of the Gay Male is more brutal, more harsh, than what I experienced in my coming out, so many, many years ago.  At lest, back then,  it was face to face in a bar, when you could actually apologize to or receive an apology.


Making up was nice .. very cordial, a gentleness about it all...... Those were the Days.

It's Time

It's Time:


Today I worked on my resume`, not that I needed to, but I did need to update it.  Ever so often, as a political operative, you need to make sure that your resume` is updated.

Cause you never know what the winds will blow up and around you.  I've seen suitcase parades before.... many times in my 40+ year career.

Also, it give you a chance to see where you are at in life, see where you might want to head, and its nice to see that time line where you began and are now.


While I am on  the subject of updating, I realized its time to change gyms.  I don't feel comfortable at the current gym, never really have.  I have been there about a year now, its just not working out.  I don't like the owner, he is a "in your face" "tell you his opinion" sort of guy... overflowing with testosterone.

I have been going to another gym for a long time, but I changed cause some of my friends started going to the "in your face" guy's gym.  So much for that.... I just need to change back, cause I am paying 35 dollars a month for nothing... not getting any benefit.  My old gym was open 7 days a week, had Sunday hours, which I liked..especially on Sunday around 2pm.....

So it's time for a change again.... Gym next week...!!!

April has proved to be a rainy month here in the Lil City by the Red River.  As always we have very stupid people that get out before the rain runs off, as you can see from the bottom photo of this lady in her new BMW.  She made it down the street, but had a lil water in the inside of her brand new car...!!

Albert Street (1st photo) was sidewalk to sidewalk, first time I have seen this much rainwater in my 24 years of living here in the City.

However, as noted in a previous post, our drainage system took it all away in about 45 minutes.

And ... and there is always an and..... we are headed  into hurricane season ... hope its not bad this year.

A nice Sunday paddle up in Grant Parish Louisiana.

Well it was another successful paddle up on Iatt Lake this morning.  I took Bob and John with me, they are in the photo.  As you can see the duck weed (Salvinia)  is getting an early start on the lake.  We slogged thru about 2 miles of Salvinia at the end of the paddle.  All in all, it was worth getting out of the house on a Sunday Morning and communing with nature and paying respect to Nature and having at Zen experience with two friends.

No Relevance

I am working from the house today.

I like working from the house.

It frees my mind sometimes, give me moments to let it wander around.

New Neighbors and Progress.....!

I came to this neighborhood about 24 years ago, it has remained somewhat the same over those years, but in ways it has changed also. We have had restorationists come along for various reasons, which has been, very successful,  for the neighborhood. We have folks moving from other cities, transferring for professions, seeking the relaxed, big tree, old street look of the neighborhood.  We have multi nationals also, folks from India and Canada; its just a nice mix of folks.  I have to say, the newest neighbor, is a Lady of Creole Heritage, hailing from Quebec, Canada. ....actually Montreal.  She's a breath of fresh, fresh air....    Just got to love our lil neighborhood.

The first restorationists were a local couple, who over the years brought about 14 homes up and down the street. They  slowly renovated them and  restored them to some extent.  Then there was a lull in this sort of progressive movement.  Then about four years ago, a local businessman, restored his family home a few blocks away.  The restoration bug caught him, what also helped was the state and fed tax credits for restoration/renovation of homes built before 1940.

I have to say, between the couple and the businessman, we have seen an upshot for the neighborhood.  

Its always good to see a lil progress.

Rain Rain and The Need for a Lil' Sunshine

We need a lil clear skies here very soon...It's Saturday here in a very wet Garden District.  Very Wet, in the last few days we have had about 7 inches of rain, including a deluge that dropped 5 inches in 45 minutes.  The City was a lil swamped.

The City itself sits on the flood plain side of the Red River,.... might I say Flood Plain Side again... our sister city across the bridge is on the Cut Bank Side..

The rain came again today, but not as intense.  I have to say that our 110 year old drainage system, in the Garden District,  performed very well, within about 30 minutes the water was gone.  Now, on the other side of town, closer to the cotton and soybean fields, it was not the case.  The reason being, my section of the city was built on the ridges of bayous that existed before the founding of the city. These bayous flowed into the Red River a short distance from what is now the levee.  So we were on the high banks of the bayous, so to speak.

With the expansion of the city, the subdivisions expanded to poorly drained areas.  Tis Tis... those folks, don't have that 110 year old drainage that we do.  I have to say they are still a lil water logged.

I have been under the weather here in the last week.. I had a small case of an intestinal bug... maybe a lil more that small case... I shed 18 pounds in 4 days.. ... wasn't a pretty sight.  But I am better, much better...

Just hope the Sun pokes his head out... and we have clear skies soon...

Reflections on a Sunday.

Its a Sunday, overcast, a lil bit rainy, but its Sunday.  Today, I traveled back to the land where I was born and raised......There, On the banks of Thompson's Creek, West Feliciana Parish, Louisiana.  I usually do not like to go back there, for various personal reasons.  Its just unpleasant memories of past happenings, not family matters, but events in my life that changed me for who I am.

Today, was a happy occasion to return though, it was a family gathering, for the christening of a family member's child.  Happy occasion.  I made the 275 mile round trip without any hiccups to speak of.

After the christening, I had a chance to spend some time reflecting on the past at the two of the three cemeteries that my  kin folks are interred at. The first cemetery is located on a hill just inside of the small town that was near our farm.  The second cemetery is set on a knoll, down a tree lined lane. All in all I visited Momma, Daddy, paternal grandparents, great grandfather, and so on.

Its been a very long time since I was back over in those parts of the state, you realize that buildings, towns, etc are  so small now in actuality,  but were fairly large in the days of your youth.  I passed the one grocery store in the small town that I went to school in, it was small... I could have sworn it was larger..

Just a Sunday's Reflections on the Past.

Reminders and Ramblings

Reminders !!!

I was reminded today that Easter was 50 days long, its just not Easter Sunday.  Here is the site where I realized that ....  http://icanhasgrace.com

At lunch today, I ran into an old friend, haven't seen him since my retirement (from the first career), he was a fellow Warden.  When I read today's entry on the above blog, I also read another blog that was attached, it was from a Lady that talked about Capital Punishment.  Texas had just sent another man to the Greater Beyond.  She was most definitely against CP.  Just another reminder of how this country is turning its attention to the overall LAW/ORDER Issues. Whether its Ferguson or the SC incident, Law Enforcement (LE) is being observed so much more very closely.  My conclusion and reminder to myself is the below:


Years ago, I became one of the first graduates of a  Bachelor Degree Criminal Justice program, here in Louisiana.  The attitudes back then were much different than today.  What I am saying is I believe Law Enforcement, was kinder, more service oriented, not such of a punishment minded, not so militaristic, when I began my career in 1975.  Certainly we had ex military personnel that were in the ranks, but these were Vietnam  Vets. They had seen a terrible war, their attitudes were "let's live".

Back then, we serviced the people, the motto " To Serve and Protect" was very much embodied,  if you were stopped for a dwi, you were counseled, taken home, for the first time, referred to someone for help, we battled the war on drugs much differently also.

I don't have the words really, other that what I see today in the LE officers.......

Now as LE officers pass me in their beef up units, that look like mini tanks, they have a frown on their faces, they portray such a mean look.  They never smile.  Sometimes it makes me sad to see this mentality,  that is now the norm.  With the inventing of the camera phone, things are changing, everyone is on video, which is another topic for another time. ....... but it might be the most needed occurrence in LE today... "to film the Badge".

It seems that the LE community wants to see its self now as Warriors, not Public Servants.

 I watched in horror yesterday as I saw that man, stopped for a simple traffic violation, gunned down as he ran away.  I would have hoped,  that most officers would have called for assistance, back up and then gave chase... Not pull out the 40mm and shoot 8 times!!!!

Reminders....and .... Ramblings !!!!