Deletion is good for the Soul

I deleted my Face Book account today.. actually deactivated it, in their terms.

I did this for several reasons.

One, I am not sure if I want folks to see me as some photo, some one that just posted photos of the events of their lives, then have folks comment on it in their terms.

I believe that the whole FaceBook phenomenon is good for some folks, but it delves into the truly private lives of others. I am not sure if I want to be that "public".

I enjoyed FB, I did. But and there is always a BUT.

I realized that my curiosity was going both ways. I was looking at folks and folks were looking at me.


Some folks certainly did not have the graciousness of being polite, with the information that was gleamed from my page.

J also somewhat irked me in that he put our lives open to a domestic relationship.

It was almost as he challenge me to our relationship.

I particular did not want that to be spread out in my "public" life. I am out enough with my superiors, neighbors, and my Church.

Who says one must suck face in public to prove a point.

So, I pulled to plug for a lil while until I can re-evaluate everything.

Tis the Season

Tis the Season

I haven't posted in such a long time. I thought that I should before someone says I have left this earth all together.

For reasons, sometimes unknown, even to myself, I have let J back into my world. Yes, I did. Can I say it was love. I am not sure.

It was for some emotional attachment, I know.

He provides me with a cause, a purpose, or companionship.

Who knows.

Maybe it was just The Season.

For doing the best thing, correct thing.

Who knows.

J is certainly younger. He is 24. I am 58.

He doesn't want for much, I have known him for two years.

At times it has been tumultuous, calamitous.... and the such.

J loves to listen to Adele..... so do I.

What Can I say.... Tis the Season.

Ah... its been about a three weeks or so since J left.

I have had contact with him off and on. Nothing major, he came to get the rest of his stuff.

We have txt some. But no real getting down and talking about it all. His style is to avoid.

Anyway, I can firmly say he has moved on, which is a total waste. He did not want to delve into what brought him to this situation, etc.

But that is his call, not mine.

I am heading to BR on Saturday to visit old friends and to do a lil grocery shopping at the Whole Pay Check Store.

I need to get out of town for a lil while.


I have wanted to go out, but can not bring myself to hit the two scag hole of so call bars here. There is nothing for a mature man to meet there anyway. Twinks, Twinkettes, various Sundry other men, who most have no real jobs or careers. Its a dismal way of life.. the gay bars of rural Louisiana.

Thanks I did need to vent, on the above subject.

For the last year I have been dating this guy. Younger than me, but steady job, good work ethic, etc.

He moved in 3 months ago.

Today, he left, but not of his own accord.


So, this morning as a mature person, I told him to leave.

It had been 7 years prior to last year that I allowed my self last year to even entertain the notion of a warm heart, not to mention love.


My heart is broken.

I was born and raised far from where I am now. I came to the Red River Valley and found a home in Rapides Parish. During the last 20 years I found my way, made and flourished in my career, and formed lasting friendships. I grew in my personal life to become an open person. My friendships from where I was born and raised continue today. My friendships in my home now are true, loyal, and open.

Its been 20 years since I came here, I wrote that piece for the opening intro to my Facebook page.

I have neglected the blog.

So I am back for a lil while.

Sitting here on the couch, in my pjs, crosslegged, yellow henley shirt on,

I became over come with emotion,

Thoughts of my Momma rush into me,

Tears came,

I miss Momma

well let me see... i am back in A- Fib, the shock treatment didn't work.

have another procedure due this Thursday.

But on the good side of all of it......

I am back in the gym

Eating nuts, twigs, roots, and stems... some Fowl and Fish Fish Fish.

i am now taking 10 pills a day... which is not good.

I hope to be going down on the pill count soon.

I will keep you posted.

i had my procedure done today.

I am back at the house.

All went fine.

I realized today, laying in the hospital bed that I was one step away from being rolled out with a sheet over my head.

That this was the first step in a long progression of medical happenings that might be on the horizon if I don't get my shit in gear.

I do not want to be on some bed, having some orderly wipe my ass ..while I drool from the mouth.

I will do better!!!!!!

Meds Meds Meds

As I walk down this road of medical techonolgy you must read the precautions on all the meds that you put in your body.

I am on five meds a day now: two of which have had incredible side effects on my body.

Pradaxa and Coreg CR


One causes bloating the other one causes tremendous weight gain. I have experienced both in the short time I have taken them.

I am now a naked weight of 268, increase pants size from 40 to almost 44, anytime I have certain foods I bloat instantly.

I have a almost 20 pound weight gain within the last two months... !!!!!

The Plan:

On Wednesday, I go into day surgery to get me out of AFib. After that I hope I can get off of some of the two meds.

Back to the gym, decrease in the intake of all food. Become a Veggie Head... I hope it all works...

more than a month

Gee.. its been more than a month since i last posted ....

well, a follow up to the last post.... I decided to stay with the city job, try to modify my work schedule and see if I could get some of my medical concerns under some sort of semi control.

The medical concerns all center around the stress and what has taken a toll on my poor body over the last 30yrs. I was doing rather well going to the gym before I came to the city work 2.5 yrs ago...but seemed to have drifted away from the exercise routine in favor of more food and more food along with a healthy dose of red wine.

Now that has posed a concern from my cardiologist and my internist. So, I am back to the gym, back to cycling.... and trying to modify my work schedule so I can live for another 20 or so years give or take a few... lets hope it giving rather than taking.

one of the joys about blogging has been keeping up with my friends... whom i have noticed have fallen in the slump of not posting as I have... but I don't think blogging is dead...

here is my facebook link... just in case any of you would like to be friends: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781803999