I believe the Angel Trumpets might bite the dust here tonight...could be a frost coming...

Cloudy day here on the Red Bricks...temp is bout 56 at 3 pm.

Heading over to the breeders tonight to make plans for the annual Christmas Trip. In days past, I never would have dreamed that I would be leaving town with a band of breeders, going to kayak Tybee Island in Ga over the Christmas Holidays. I always thought of myself as the true southern gay man, insulated by his group of friends.

Now since most of the friends(gay), ..well all of them almost, have moved away from here, I have gravitated to these hetro group of middle age individual sports minded folks..these people either kayak or mtn bike ..all individuals in but in a group activity.

When I first came to town, I didn't have any hetro friends (breeders), I was surrounded by what I thought was a permanent group of gay men and women, ... but has time has rose and fallen here...all these friends have moved away, passed away or drifted away... leaving me with some what of a vacant circle....then along comes the Gang of Five.. they kayak, ride the mtn bikes, travel ..cook supper etc...and I fell amongst them... accepted as a whole..not part.

Have to say its been pleasant, but I truly long for the days when I had a gaggle of gays,flock of fags,..just good ole boys, on the porch..yaking, talking, at times screaming..

Nothing, can compare with the friendship that is extended by one's own group.

Well its Thanksgiving.

I heard from John. Made the usual phone calls, hello how are ya. etc etc etc.

On a good note tho, had TG day dinner with the Boss, his family. Rode the bike over there.

Then came home to the above pic. Its my Angel Trumpets on the side yard. With the Kumquat tree (Fortunella sp. Swingle) to the right of the photo.

Everything is loaded, Angels Trumpets and Kumquats

Nothing else really..

Its gumbo making at the Mayor's house later on this evening.

The first pic is of my sasanqua in the front of the house here on the red bricks.


Second pic is of the duck weed that is covering the local sloughs and bayous this time of the year. Was out taking in some of the sights on them, ran across fallen leaves...



City is slowing down for the holidays, most folks that work for the city are taking off so they won't lose their leave time. This City does not allow its employees to accrue leave time like most other public services agencies here in the state. So, it does not encourage employees to build time toward retirement. They must take it off each year.

So....most of the staff is gone except for essential personnel.

Any way...not much else is going on...I heard from John in DC today...first contact I have had with him in about a eight days or so.

Still undecided as to the far reaching affects of that.

Other than anything else... not much is going on.

Saturday Afternoon.

I was sitting here by the fireplace, chill of a wind blowing outside.... thinking of my week and turning my thoughts to the long lost past.

In the years passed, I have had one true relationship. Him and I have keep in contact with each other on a fairly regular basis, in the ensuing years....well....in the last ten or so years really.

We were together in 1989...parted ways in 1992, now almost 20 years later, we find our selves talking again... routinely.

He is in a very dysfunctional relationship (the last one of four). I, on the other hand, have not been in a true relationship since 1992(Ours)... dated a lot, had someone stay over for about five months( gave a helping hand out) .... but no true relationship.

There seems to be a constant theme here with us.... we remained in contact with each other..he moved from one lover to the next.. always searching for the perfect lover. I, would date, but never commit. So we both were alone.... him being in a relationship that was always turning sour..for one reason or the other.

Me....dating.... but never committing.

Maybe I have just been waiting.

He calls in May of this year, fear was in his voice, he was in the hospital. He saw his mortality flashing before his eyes. He was very sick. He wanted to tell me that he had always love me, he hoped to see me soon.

As the summer wore on, he was in and out of the hospital, near death's door, he was constantly knocking on it. 6 weeks in the ICU. He went back and forth all summer long, well into the fall of the year now, five operations later, with one to go, before he will be whole again.

He has continue to call me .... saying that he truly wants to return to me, that we should have never parted ways.

Now it is early winter here on the Red Bricks......

For me.................

I have commitment issues that reach back to '92, in that, he should have packed his bags and came with me to these Red Bricks. Our relationship was strong I thought, but our careers were stronger. He headed to the big city...to H Town, then to Big D...then to The District...DC.

I headed to these Red Bricks.....made a life....and stayed here.

Sometimes I feel that he is just holding on to our friendship as a safety net for himself.... him knowing of my issues with commitment ....knowing that I have had only one true love in my life, which was him....

It is a long way from those other brick streets in baton rouge the year 1989.... now it is approaching 2009... with the brick streets of Alex....out in front of the house.....

only thing constant has been those damn brick streets..

I couldn't sleep again tonight.

Went to bed around 9....up at midnight.

Things from the office rolling through my head.

Damn.... retirement was not suppose to be like this.

Reminds me of my days in corrections.

Back then it was all those damn prisons to worry about.

It just must be my makeup or maybe I am not getting the necessary exercise.

Who knows.

Let us not Forget

Let us not forget the sacrifice that was given by many today.

Let us not forget the burden that all Our Wars have placed on their Souls

Let us not forget the families, mommas, daddies, sons and daughters , wives that made the sacrifice also

For me, last year the Veteran's Day brought home a new meaning. Lil T went to war, in a war his daddy did not approve of, that his daddy was on the other side of the fence with most of his neighborhood.

He signed on several years before Chaney and Rummie decided to tell W to send our troops over there to that sand pit.

He spent ten months over there, I can not imagine some one on his or her third tour or even fourth tour, ten months was ten years for me, always waiting for that knock on the door.

But he returned..Thank the Good Lord he returned, in one piece, with one mind.

Today, I think of him.... my Lil T....besides all the rhetoric from all folks.......

Lil T did his duty, serviced his country and returned home... A Good Man

Second Post of the Day:

I am sitting here, in my living room, next to the fireplace...a low fire is at a glow

I am thinking that what this blog has brought to me....

The friends that I correspond with, a friend, on line, that I have brought cards from, seen their lives.....

Through their words, their pictures ...

What I have written about in in my past career and now the one I face each day.....

I am at a crossroads ... and what is new in my life...

So, I sit besides the glow of a dimming fire...in the heart of the Garden District of this small Southern town.

Sitting on the couch...cause its Sunday in the Garden District of my lil Southern City.

Worked some yesterday down on a canal which runs thru the City. Well my employees did, but I was there also.

They call it "The Chat" short for Chatlin Lake Canal. It moves most of the water out of the City.

We are cleaning The Chat...working on the weekends...just another weekend in the Service to the People.

The people spoke didn't they.

The folks here in the deep deep South ..that is the rural deep deep South faced their fears last night...and they survived.

Nothing really changed... no horns blowing, no wild parades, no heckling, ..the night just passed as any other night would...

It was a landslide victory.... the republicans here are trying to fluff it off as being some stupid crap like ... so many minorities voted...well... . Everyone Voted here... almost everyone that is .... that is reason they lost....

cause why...........

cause the People were fed up with how the country was going...the way it was headed...and it was a victory for the fight against prejudice ...

Yep the simple, plain folks voted......they did it in the American Way.

I am proud of our country tonight.

So.... its Sunday....

Lil sister is out of town, so I went out and watered the plants for her.

other than that.... i spent last night with the Boss and his wife.

he called, so i went out to see him at his favorite bistro.

when the Boss calls.... you respond .... just the way it is in the political life of a small town guy like myself...

Power to the people....right... cause the power to the people is less than 60 hours away....

we will see where it goes... and i havent made up my mind yet....i am leaning ...its just hard to face reality in the world sometimes.... know what i mean vern !!!

I first voted for Pres when Richard Milhous Nixon (2nd term) came into office.....thats a long time ago... McGovern was the demo canidate who opposed Nixon.......

i think we are going to have a reverse of the 1972 election... have to see.

Here is a pic of the sunset from my lil sister home in New Mexico.

She is out there...to take in some New Mexico air and replinish her soul.

I hope she does.... Her home is a wonderful place of tranquil solitude, nothing beats the sunsets from her south portal of her home.... just breath taking .... you feel like you can touch your own soul by watching the sun drop over the horizon.