Monday.......

I have this feeling that I am becoming again lonely.

I had this feeling for many years before Mark and now that he is gone, its starting to come back. Its an internal loneliness...not outward.

Its reserved for my time by myself, when I sit down to contemplate my life and what is happening in it. Its more akin to sadness actually as I sit here and type.

Its a sadness that I have had before. Before Mark and now After Mark.

On the other hand, my back muscle is still out of whack, however I am still going to the gym. Will be there today ...I am thinking about changing my gym times, I usually go in the mid afternoons. I am thinking of going around 730 to 8 pm. Change of scenery so to speak.

I can tell this, the more excerise I have the more my hormones rage. Getting fit, Getting horny.

When we were at Kincad this morning( by the way it was a three hour paddle) on this small lake, we had the opportunity to see four American Bald Eagles. Two adults and two juveniles.

It truly was a wonderful and thrilling sight.

I just wondered if any other gay men would enjoy this as much as I do. If I do have another partner, I hope he would enjoy the sights and sounds of nature and the Wild as much as I do.

To be in the full front of nature, experiencing life on that basis. Most just want to be at a bar, in bed or in case of this area...doing the Tina.

I am off to go to a bon fire, eat catfish, and come home early.

It seems that due to the weather, which by the way is excellent here ,that every one wants to paddle. The boats are already loaded.

We will be doing a paddle trip of Kincad Lake.

The area has two resident Bald Eagles. I will bring the camera tomorrow and see if I can get a picture of them.

Other than that, not too much happened here for Turkey Day.

Oh I do have some pictures of my recent trip fly fishing up in Missouri. I am thinking about posting them. With all the clothes I had to wear it makes me look HUGE.

Its about to be Thanksgiving in the District here. This means a fire in the fireplace tomorrow morning. Bloody Marys down the block, dinner (southern meaning of the northern lunch) with the Smiths in the other direction of the street, home to a lazy afternoon and then a fire in the evening. Maybe a few friends over to watch the embers pass their glo into the night....a strong maybe. Certainly ain't no trick coming over for sure.

Booger on the Limb on Saturday night at Brother's place. This means its catfish plates from Carl's Catfish Hut, eaten in the pasture watching a big bonfire. Then home by ten pm, I am old ya kno'.

Now that I am back to being single again...I will just have to get use to bedding down by myself.

Lamenting the absence of Mark, is one thing...Experiencing it is another.

Oh well.....Life goes on doesn't it.

Here is a beaver I caught laying up on a cyrpess stump in Iatt Lake. He was resting in mid afternoon. When we put in at the landing the temp was right at 51 degrees around 10 am this morning. It warmed up during the day, as the beaver can attest too. Was a good paddle, I needed it. I had to deal with some stressors concerning the past relationship. I wish I could be like the beaver and not have a worry in the world.

Its off to the gym this morning.

I did accomplish some chores yesterday. Washed and clean the porch.

Tis a lil bit cooler here this morning. Blue Skies !!

I think I will cook something on the smoker later on.

Nothing to report.....

Well...what is new

I am paddling after Church on Sunday with the GDG.

It should be an interesting paddle.

Pics will follow.

Mark came by today. We chatted. I felt it was strained to some extent.

As in the back of my mind, I feel he might at some point come back to me.

On the other hand, I know in the back of my mind that he will Not.

Turning the attention other matters, I got some of the new furniture in today.

Most of the interior painting is finished. The media center is being built.

I am taking off more and more from the office.

However, with all this, I am lonesome. Which if I was honest with myself, was the case for years prior to Mark. I had 14 months of bliss.

Which I am thankful for.

here are recent pics from a paddle trip to Cocodrie Lake on the border with Rapides/Evangline Parishes.

I took two ladies out. It was a great trip.

Continuing on the route that I have taken...I am off today.

I have washed clothes, washed towels, went to the cleaners

Had late lunch with Aaron, listened to him about the bf

Vacuumed the house.

Washed dishes.

and just putter around the house, doing odd sort of things.

I pledged to myself to take off every Friday....so far the office only called once.

I made the first fire in the fireplace tonight.

I love the fall.

I just wish Mark was here to cuddle up.

Oh well he is not and won't be.

I have to get this out of my mind..Mark that is.

The renovations are going great to the house. I have to go out and look for some sort of foo ton or small fold out couch for the office, in case I have over night guests.

I will deliver pics to the blog once all the refinements are completed.